In honor of Fun Fun Fun Fest (this weekend at Waterloo Park), I thought I’d write a fun, fun, fun and fantastical story that incorporates some of the band names (with links to their Myspace pages or Website) that will be playing. Because word games are fun, and not at all nerdy.
RATATAT!!! Was the sound made by some group of Night Marchers, and heard loudly in the Crystal Castles of Montreal (which just happens to be less than 7 Seconds from the Moonlight Towers, but an incredible distance from Harlem.) Regarding all this noise, Why? Well, the marchers were a group of The Laughing Young Widows, along with their All Leather wearing Street Dogs (whom, by the way, kept running Russian Circles around the Strange Boys that were passing by) and were on their annual Mission of Burma to find the Shonen Knife and to finally come Face to Face with Lucero (who, in his ever Growing power, would grant them the gifts of the mighty Destroyer.)
The plan that this Youth Brigade had was to Broadcast the Atlas Sound and light the sacred D.R.I Torche in The Underground Railroad to Candyland, where hopefully they would meet Lucero. Then, these Cool Kids would Reign Supreme, yelling “Off With Their Heads” to the deaf yeasayers and the already Dead Confederates who made mayhem in the Coliseum there. Things might get Fucked Up, but they were prepared for The Roller coaster, and did not let the bitter warnings of “This Will Destroy You!” upset their brave Foot Patrol or push their Fuck Buttons.
Danzig, the Neon Indian who was their king, donned ceremonial Crystal Antlers atop his Royal Bangs. He seemed to have No Age – to be in perfect HEALTH. Death could not touch him. His Kid Sister, whom they called Mika Miko, however, was definitely one of the Whitest Kids U’Know (or will ever know – trust me on this). Red Sparowes told of how her whiteness was brighter than Alaska in Winter.
As their journey wore on, the group began to Coalesce like a Melt Banana – their purpose was clear and true. There were the Bankrupt and the Borrowers during these Black and White Years, but one Pack of Wolves would begin the New Movement that had been wished for since the beginning, since the time of Vega. It was time….time to conquer, time to entertain, time to get on with things…it was time to go to FUN FUN FUN FEST!